The Most Interesting Free Agent In The World
Free agency season has died down and while there are still quite a few intriguing names left floating about while teams figure their cap situations out, there’s one man out there who remains and his legend now grows as the pickings get slimmer.
His reputation is expanding faster than the universe you might say.
He’s a man who has played in the NHL for nine seasons, almost all of them healthy… Except for his most recent when he got injured more seriously just to see how it felt.
He’s never scored more than 30 goals in a season but passes with the greatest of ease despite being a left wing.
His blood smells just like cologne.
Darryl Sutter once traded for him because he was intrigued by how he might work with Jarome Iginla.
His hairless face has experienced more playoff success than the San Jose Sharks.
He’s been known to cure a struggling offense just by walking into the room.
If you’re the GM of the Coyotes, Panthers, or a host of other NHL teams perhaps you too would be interested in the most interesting free agent in the world.
When Alex Tanguay drinks, he prefers something with an umbrella in it.
Or perhaps you’d just rather have a shitty Mexican beer.
Alex Tanguay is certainly getting a lot of attention and sure, much of it is deserved. He played 50 games for the Canadiens last year and scored 40 points. Not bad. Not great, but not bad either. Teams that are in the hunt for him, the aforementioned Panthers and Coyotes could sure use a big point producer to help out. Florida in particular would make for a great destination with the emerging David Booth and the host of snipers situated in Miami right now.
These teams in the hunt for Alex Tanguay had better know what they’re getting though.
They’re not getting a big goal scoring winger.
Tanguay is a set-up guy and would fit in ideally on a team that has a center that likes to score goals (well hello Tampa Bay) or on a line with enough offensive talent to make sure that Tanguay’s short comings (doesn’t play physical at all) don’t short-circuit the entire line (Ottawa, Dallas, even Phoenix perhaps).
Alex Tanguay is the ideal support piece for a team’s offense but he’s not the main event scorer. Of course, now that just about every main event scorer is off the market, Alex Tanguay is the last guy out there who has put up big offensive numbers in the past and will, likely, be able to get (over) paid by someone desperate.
Buyer beware because the Most Interesting Free Agent In The World is a lover not a fighter… But he’s also a fighter so don’t get any ideas He’s a total pansy, have at it.
Stay thirsty, GMs.