Gross Misconduct Hockey Thoughts from a drifter on the hockey landscape

04/23/2008

Round 1: Mission Accomplished

Filed under: Dark Ages,NHL playoffs — Joe Yerdon @ 5:21 PM

Suffice to say I think we can say that Round 1 was an overwhelming success for not just this blog, but for the NHL in general.

This playoffs has seen the defending champion Ducks get shown the door. This is good because these guys weren’t playing hockey in the first place and if anyone was kicking around the idea of emulating what they do in order to ensure success…forget it.

The Devils get the boot and that too is good because it means that Lamoriello-hockey takes another blow. After all, it was Lou and Lemaire that helped seal the deal for ushering in the Dark Ages of hockey. I’ve cooled in recent years on Lemaire but Lamoriello has shown that even without Jacques Lemaire he continues to run the organization the same cheap and awful way.

The way that shows that they’d rather not be bothered paying out for offensive skill players.

The Sharks bagged the Flames, finally, after seven games and did it all thanks to NHL ’94 legend, Jeremy Roenick. Think about that for a second: Roenick was to video game hockey what Bo Jackson was to Tecmo Super Bowl and all of that happened in the early ’90s with the exception being that Roenick is still playing.

What’s more amusing is reading reactions from people who at one point in time really despised Roenick and now find themselves saying, “Ahh you know what? Get it done J.R.” Incredible.

Also incredible in the process of last night’s game was Mike Keenan ensuring that he’ll have at least one superstar hating his guts next season as he yanked Miikka Kiprusoff after giving up four goals on thirty shots. Curtis Joseph then came in and gave up one more on one of the first shots he faced. Oops.

Oh, by the way, the Flames lost 5-3.

The Bruins bowing out quietly in the seventh game against Montreal, in hindsight, was rather predictable. The Bruins sucked it up enough the playoffs to make a show of things, inspire the locals to a degree (at least to the level where they may have actually drowned out the noise being made by the Canadiens fans that routinely take over the Garden), and even get some long since dormant “fans” to pay attention again.

That said, the Bruins played tough until Montreal scored to make it 1-0. Once the Habs were on the board, Operation “We Feel Good For Making It This Far” was on in full effect. After two periods it was 3-0, and then the Canadiens while up 4-0 score a fifth goal with five seconds left on Tim Thomas to throw a little salt in the wound and an extra kick in the junk.

If the NHL garnered as much attention and hype as Major League Baseball, I have no doubts whatsoever some sort of mythical story line would be tied into a Montreal-Boston matchup and it would be laced with a story that explains why the Bruins can never seem to get the best of the Canadiens.

Hey, why not, it worked for the Red Sox in dealing with the Yankees and made a mint for Dan Shaughnessy who fabricated the entire “curse” story to sell a book. Perhaps they could run with letting Bobby Orr end his career wearing a Blackhawks sweater and the Bruins never recovering since. After all, they haven’t won the Stanley Cup since Orr was on the team and scoring legendary goals.

So there we go, done deal! It’s the Curse of Bobby Orr everyone! Bobby Orr is the guy who shut the lights off in two different Cup Finals against the Edmonton Oilers (1988 and 1990). It was Bobby Orr who told John Muckler to rest Petr Klima up in 1990 and haphazardly put him out on the ice in triple-overtime to score the game winning goal. It was Bobby Orr who injured Cam Neely, not Ulf Samuelsson. It was Bobby Orr who told Harry Sinden to both not pay Raymond Bourque and then not surround him with capable talent so he could stay a Bruin forever and make a run at one more Stanley Cup Final that would ideally not feature the Edmonton Oilers, Wayne Gretzky or Petr Klima.

That said, even the loss of the Capitals to the Flyers can’t totally keep me down and mainly it’s because I have the comforting thought of knowing full-well that the city of Philadelphia will have another gut-wrenching loss in the playoffs set to be delivered to them. It doesn’t matter if it comes at the hands of the Canadiens, Penguins or Rangers – two of those teams the Flyers have a blood feud with – it’s going to be great to see. The Flyers have been on par for class and guts this year with the Anaheim Ducks and that’s no compliment.

In a Flyers fan’s mind, they think they’re going all the way and those sissies from Montreal, those assholes from Pittsburgh and those motherf-ckers from New York sure won’t beat them! No freakin’ way! Excitedly for myself and many others, it will be one of them to get rid of them and send the misery meter up one more notch in Philadelphia.

The only real downside to the Capitals losing is that it prevents us from seeing Sid the Kid and Evgeni Malkin from taking on Ovechkin and Backstrom in the second round. Say what you will, but Bettman had the perfect opportunity to take what he learned under Stern and to put it to use to set up a real dazzler of a matchup.

Much like everything else, however, Bettman fails to put the hit out to guarantee this will happen. Perhaps he was too preoccupied hoping that Detroit would put Dominik Hasek back in the nets to keep the Predators involved in the playoffs. You know, to benefit the game and spread it to non-traditional and new markets (read: to spur on another buyer to pay a ridiculous amount for a team whose fans just remembered where the arena was last week).

That said, Detroit not failing (and looking tough to deal with in the final two games) draw their former blood rival, the Avalanche. Yes, that’s right Woody Paige and Mark Kiszla and Adrian Dater – former blood rival. After all, if this was still the same old thing the Avalanche would be winning some of these matchups with Detroit.

But they’re not. Detroit has put the boots to Colorado the last few years now and the only thing that’s the same about these two teams is the Colorado lineup, thanks to this year’s trading deadline. Peter Forsberg? Adam Foote? Why not go find Adam Deadmarsh and Mike Keane while you’re at it.

The key for Detroit in the series is to make sure that Andreas Lilja and Dominik Hasek don’t find their way into any games. Colorado is a bit of a wild-card at this stage, but they go from dealing with a 0.5 dimensional offensive team in the Wild to a much tougher and lethal offensive team with Detroit. Colorado will need Forsberg in every game they play from here on out and Sakic needs to keep being a hockey deity. The real Jose Theodore also needs to not show up as well. He could’ve beaten Minnesota wearing no pads and I assure you, Detroit will be a bit more intense.

As for San Jose and Dallas, this leads us to our other directive for the second round: Eliminate Dallas. Dallas brings nothing fun to the table at all and the only reason they were being rooted for in the first round was to God’s work to eliminate the cheating Ducks. You’ve done your duty boys, time to pack it in…for the benefit of the game.

To recap, what we want out of the second round:

  1. The elimination of the Philadelphia Flyers
  2. The elimination of the Dallas Stars

I figure we’ve cut down on the teams, I can cut down on my demands. Philly and their goon squad and the Stars and their boredom can take a powder. Either the Rangers or Penguins bring the goods into a Conference Finals matchup, same goes for Detroit and Colorado (although I’d rather not see Peter Forsberg and his flopping ways not go any further).

Remember, this is all about what benefits the game the most and I’m trying my hardest to be objective. Something here is bound to fail – what it will be has yet to happen. Let’s hope that Herr Bettman stays asleep at the wheel and doesn’t make a move for a Dallas vs. Philadelphia Finals.

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